My Mom and I have had over the years a rather checkered relationship, part of it was being number 3 of 5 children (I always thought of myself as piggy in the middle), my only brother was number 4 and could do no wrong. Part of it was being born in the early 1950's, part of it was the Vietnam war, part of it was wanting to be an Engineer, being a hippy and being very different to my Mom's idea of what a women should be.
My Mom and I haven't always seen I to eye, yet we've always remained firm friends, she doesn't understand me and my independence, still doesn't understand that I deal with things without asking for advice. Yet as the years have gone on I've noticed a shift in her perception of me.
After Dad died six years after my husband had died, I opened my eyes to my Mom's reality, she had never made a decision without consultation with my Dad, if he vetoed it that was that. She had lived in 5 houses since her marriage and Dad's death and never seen or had any imput into a new home, just accepted that it was a fact that she would be moving again.
Mom is going to have to move at least once more, she will be 89 in February and is no longer capable of living alone, she has to move in with me, I've made a number of changes in my life to accommodate my Mom being here, I no longer have a tenant or a weekly income from rent, I've opened up my house again and it is all one living space.
I spent at least 3 days a week with Mom at here place organizing meals, cooking meals etc, I'm her full time carer but she lives an hour away. January is the day set down for moving date, yet she will not acknowledge this.
from the lady that "downsized to a bigger house"